Hes not perfect... so what?  

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Mad Murphy
(@mad-murphy)
Amazing Member

When I was a kid some dogs still roamed and on our estate there were two Nikki who belonged to a friend of mine he was a corgi cross and was ball crazy.

Most of the time this was a pain because if Nikki was about he would steal any ball and ruin your game of tennis cricket or canon .. But in summer time we would sometimes walk with Nikki to a patch of waste ground that bordered the golf course, sometimes golfers would chip a ball too far and it would come through the big iron railings onto the waste ground. So we would sit with a pile of pebbles and a couple of dog bisuits and throw a pebble into the undergrowth with luck Nikki would emerge with a golf ball we would take the ball and throw another pebble, this continued until Nikk got bored with the game or we had enough balls then Nikki would get his biscuit and we would trudge round to the golf masters hut and exchange the balls for small change enough to buy us an ice cream each. No one ever moaned about him.

The other dog wasnt so nice, his name was Chipper and he was a BC x Lab he had some really bad habits like biting the tyres of passing mopeds and bikes if they got too close and nipping kids if they interfered with his business. He peed in peoples gardens and stole food if he saw the chance. Every now and then someone would complain and my dad who was the caretaker would have to go round to his owner Bob and have a word.. Bob mate Chipper is being a pain in the bum again keep him in for a few days will you?

Never talk of dog wardens or putting him down just a bit of a word and it was sorted once or twice an angry mum went round and shouted at Bob about his dog and Bob yelled back then agreed it was his fault offered to buy the kid a sweet or bun and the mum would go home and the kid involved got a clip round the ear for touching the dog because 'you should know better , leave the dog alone' It was accpeted that dogs were dogs and we had to respect them.

 

How things have changed. Of course theres good reason why dogs are not allowed to roam, the roads are much busier these days and they would be a danger.

But there seems to be this attitude that all dogs should be perfect. They should love every tom dick or harry that comes up to them in the street especially screaming kids who 'wanna pet the doggy', they should never bark, never pee up a hedge, never chase anything , have perfect recall and love every other dog that happens to come racing over.

 

 

Murphy isnt used to children so he gets jumpy when they come running up and what can I do apart from drag random kids in off the streets and say 'hey play with my dog but do it nicley without waving your arms or screaming'.

 

Hes not sure about strange dogs he likes to sit back and watch before getting involved.

Same goes for the strange people,like the one last night walking along with that exagerrated caribbean bounce (even when the nearest theyve been to Jamaica is seeing a travel brochure) hoodie down over his face hands stuffed in pockets.. They are the kind that have us as humans worried its just that our social rules make it unacceptable for us to voice our unease and shout 'go away' Murphy knows no such bounderies,so odd people, threatening people, ones with sticks or crutches, ones who flap for no reason or wave objects in his face get barked at ie; they get told to 'go away' but then they get offended.

The dog should be under control they say, the dog should be taught manners, go to classes , be muzzled, be PTS ...Is this the acceptable way to react if a dog is not perfect these days?

Im not social, I cant stand screaming kids or people who get in my face admittedly I dont pee on hedges but Ive been know to wee behind a bush in the woods. No one has ever suggested I need to be PTS.

Ive decided to order a sleeve to fit on his leash that reads 'do not pet' in big letters in the hope it will keep people at bay.

 

So Im not perfect , my dog isnt perfect. Im coming to terms with it slowly I cant please all these people , I cant make him something he isnt.

 

Since when was not being perfect a crime?

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Posted : 03/02/2019 3:07 am MariaandNikita, TheOneWithTheThumbs and PharmacySheep liked
MariaandNikita
(@mariaandnikita)
Fantastic Member

❤️

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@kitispie

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Posted : 04/02/2019 9:19 am Griff Mom, PharmacySheep, Mad Murphy and 1 people liked
TheOneWithTheThumbs
(@theonewiththethumbs)
Outstanding Member

I’ll drink to that!!  🥂 

@mad-murphy I LOVE the golf ball story! That sounds like a wonderful afternoon - and very clever! for all of you!

I live in a densely populated residential area and it’s dangerous for dogs to be off leash…  I don’t guess I really minded until Brick.  If a dog runs up to him..  well the next several days are quite unpleasant.  Brick has night terrors and does truly thrash, cry and bark in his sleep.  And that is the BEST case scenario.  I am positively terrified of him fighting another dog.  Depending on damages – dogs that get reported can be taken to the city shelter for evaluation.  They will keep dogs a week to make sure they aren’t mean or aggressive.  I can tell you, beyond question, that would destroy Brick.   Not to mention the anguish he’d suffer, biting, having bitten, mom didn’t protect him…  Add the people that steal dogs for dog fight bait, or just because they can/want to…  my dogs are never outside if I’m not home. (control freak much? 🤭 )

 

Brick hates babies. (I don’t have kids and live alone so…. Yea.) I’m sure he thinks they are hairless rabbits.  Small mobile children are wobbly and sticky, they smell funny, make irritating noises and are all nature of unpredictable!  (and that’s when they’re sleeping!) When I got Maybe my nieces were all smaller… I’ve gotten terrible with years and ages lately…   I think they ranged in age from about 3 – 7.  They would run around the yard and Maybe would shoulder check them in the knee pit.  She’d take all 4 down.  Then make another pass as they tried to get up.  It was great fun.  But a year later when Brick moved in.. nope.  And if Maybe tried to play her games – Brick would bark and bark.  I’d have to tell him “stay with mom” and just pour treats down his throat. Sometimes for hours. 

He’s gotten so much better.  Partly because the kids haven’t killed him yet – but also, the kids have gotten bigger and less sticky. lol.  Two summers ago I had the youngest one out playing with him…  I told her she had to keep her hands to herself and do her best not to make eye contact with him. She seemed content to just play near him.  I don’t think he even knew she was there.

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I can forgive kids for their ignorance, I can even forgive strangers who falsely assume all dogs are like Benji or Lassie, but the people that really drive me absolutely batcrap crazy?  The jackholes I let in my house.  I tell people – usually before they even set foot in the door “Ignore the black one”  I threw one of my friends a 40th Birthday party last year and on the invitation I very specifically stated that my dogs will be at my/their house and I must insist that everyone IGNORE THE BLACK ONE! I explain, he’s a love, but let him decide.  If you ignore him, he’ll be in your lap by the end of the night. Never fails – at least one person will get in his face, put their hand up his nose, all while telling me how much dogs always love them because they’re a natural. [eye roll]  Right, I’m sure they know MY dog so much better than I do!  I usually spend the rest of the night “Brick, stay with mom.  Briiiiick, you’re ok, stay with mom”  Drives me effin nuts!!  😤 

*sigh*

As times have changed and more is known about dogs, and more people take the time to learn – I think fewer people expect perfection from all dogs..  I am trying hard to change my own mindset.  It’s much easier for me to accept YOUR dog than it is for me to accept my own.  I think I’ve failed him and I wish I had done so many things differently.  But how could I have known then that it was even necessary?  (long story for another day, but some of Brick is my fault)  Live and learn.  😊 

 

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Posted : 04/02/2019 10:20 am PharmacySheep and Mad Murphy liked
Mad Murphy
(@mad-murphy)
Amazing Member

Save us from the all dogs love me idiots... 

We had a great walk with Murphy this morning it was early there was no one around and he played nicely But yesterday afternoon was stressful on his afternoon walk in the neighbourhood a child spotted him and came running across the road waving her arms and yelling CAN I STROKE YOUR DOG at OH by this time Murphy was backing up and growling ,OH said no he doesnt like strangers.. So the daft child just stood there staring then ran off yelling to her friends and making Murphy more nervous. it all took seconds but its yet another negative meeting with a child.

I hope that sleeve arrives soon and keeps some of them at bay.

My grandchildren are coming at easter . My grand daughter is sensible and grandson is autistic and non verbal ....Murphy ignores them they respect him and he's fine with them. If only all kids were that easy !

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Mad Murphy
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Posted : 04/02/2019 11:23 am PharmacySheep and TheOneWithTheThumbs liked
TheOneWithTheThumbs
(@theonewiththethumbs)
Outstanding Member

was your heart racing the entire time?  mine would be!!

i hope the sleeve works!!

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Posted : 04/02/2019 11:25 am Mad Murphy liked
Mad Murphy
(@mad-murphy)
Amazing Member
Posted by: TheOneWithTheThumbs

was your heart racing the entire time?  mine would be!!

i hope the sleeve works!!

Murphy is a bit like Brick if he knows you and youre relaxed he is like a big old soft teddy bear.. My son in law says he has no bones because Murphy becomes a big saggy fluff ball everytime he sees him Murphy just melts and rolls on his feet sits in his lap and generally smothers him in fluff...

Each morning we drive out to the surrounding areas and walk in woods or at a nature reserve . Sometimes like yesterday we go to a small island on the edge of town where dogs are allowed off lead. Theres only one bridge on and off the island so no chance of him running off and no one but dog walkers around. Very relaxed walks.

Its afternoons and evenings that are the main bug bear, those are walks we take in the neghbourhood and Murphy is fine and well behaved he likes to walk . He only ever barks if people get in his face..

Last year my son his GF my SIL and my two grandchildren were here for my daughters wedding. Murphy had met most of them once.. He was fine the whole time , he ignored the kids who were told by my son that if they annoyed the dog he would punish them, he ignored my son and his GF he even managed to ignore my demented SIL most of the time.

But when the children got picked up by my ex daughter in law she bought her father along. Murphy was fine with her but the father was another matter. Murphy barked as they came in. The guy got in his face... Oh a bieke (said biker)..local name for these dogs) hey boy, hey, hey, hey, boy.. hand outstretched at Murphys face .. My husband told him 'sorry Murphy is nervous of strangers ignore him ' but instead of backing off the  guy leaned in toward him even further.  hey now, bieke ,hey boy, hey, come on, come on, ..By this time Murphy was about to rip the guys face off so OH put Murphy into another room and shut the door.

99% the fault of the father, he didnt respect Murphy he didnt listen to us and he didnt back off ... 1% us, we should have just said plainly 'back off he doesnt like you'. The problem is social training ( ours not Murphys) youre taught to be politie and to be nice and not to be rude  so you put up with jerks like this..

 

Lesson for self ; dont be politie to jerks !

 

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Posted : 05/02/2019 12:33 am TheOneWithTheThumbs and PharmacySheep liked
PharmacySheep
(@pharmacysheep)
Fantastic Member

Cocoa grew up with her pack (my husband and I, my parents, and my brother and his wife). She loves her pack and her turf. It can take her a solid year to accept a stranger (I’ve seen it). And that stranger must act perfectly from the start, do something mean like poke her or stare her in the eyes for too long and forget it, you have no chance. Children scare her because they move too fast and are unpredictable. She accepted my husbands grandmother at record speed, maybe because she was so slow and gentle.  Once you are accepted you will be smothered with kisses. She doesn’t understand other dogs and never attempts to play with them. She prefers to stick with her humans and observe these other strange creatures in hopes they don’t try to touch her. If you try to deliver a pizza or just ring the doorbell, she will bark at you until she is literally hoarse. We’ve told more than one solicitor, sorry I can’t hear you over my dog, got to go. We don’t take her for walks, but she does like to play with us in the yard (no fence), she’s never needed a leash because she sticks so close to us. She’s very protective. I wouldn’t change her for the world and have never tried.

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Posted : 05/02/2019 4:26 am TheOneWithTheThumbs and Mad Murphy liked
TheOneWithTheThumbs
(@theonewiththethumbs)
Outstanding Member

inside out anger fullbody

That’s how I felt at the end of your post. Pretty sure my blood pressure is up a couple points, too! 

Brick HATES my dad.  He was ok when he was a puppy – he “”accepted”” my dad (which is not the same as “liking” by any stretch) but my dad  - much like small children – will make sudden noises (sneezes, coughs) and {eye roll} he is SO theatrical. So much louder than he needs to be!  I think Brick was 8-9 months old and I had him to my dad’s for a visit (was working on car training, manners, etc) and my dad knocked a whole shelf off pots and pans to the ground.  Made SO much noise and absolutely terrified Brick!  From that day forward, every single time my dad comes to my house – Brick hollers at him to get out.  I mean, non-stop barking and barking.  He will circle my dad, half lunge – if my dad takes a step towards him – OMG! End of days! Brick runs as fast as he can [to nowhere] Then Maybe gets mad because Brick has been told to be quiet (he has places he can go to get away from my dad. But won’t let my dad out of his site)  so she attacks Brick. (she thinks she is “the punisher” and if you tell Brick anything more than twice and he fails to listen, she corrects him.  It’s somewhat funny. "It's ok, human, I got this!”) So it turns into a full damn circus!

Yes, I could crate my dogs. But I’d rather crate my dad.  I never fault Brick – much like me, even Maybe only tolerates my dad to be polite, but she’d never sit at his feet, or curl up next to him on the couch.  No, he’s not a good character.

Last summer whole family over for a July picnic, Brick was 15 feet behind me hollering at my dad and my dad turned and stared at him.  I asked him what the hell he thought he was doing and he said something mature and brilliant like “Brick started it” and then went into how he is the superior being and all that crud…  Through clenched teeth I told my dad this is Brick’s home, he lives here, you do not.  STOP. CHALLENGING. MY. DOG!  I shoulda bit him!

Thanksgiving was good!  Surprisingly good!  Brick avoided my dad completely – but never barked!  I was thrilled!

Christmas.  Mind you the family holidays are at my house so it’s 16-20 people roaming around.  Brick had walked into the living room, presumably looking for me.  I was on the opposite side of the room. I saw every second, every step…  and when my dad reached out and pet Brick ….  Here we finally get to a good place and my dad is too stupid to leave it alone!!

My dad is probably off the guest list for all future holidays. 

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Posted : 05/02/2019 9:17 am Mad Murphy liked
Mad Murphy
(@mad-murphy)
Amazing Member

@TheOneWithTheThumbs  is crate training your dad an option? 🤔  or a cattle prod to discourage unwanted behaviour?

Ive seriously thought about that in the past !

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Mad Murphy
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Posted : 06/02/2019 1:02 am MariaandNikita and TheOneWithTheThumbs liked
TheOneWithTheThumbs
(@theonewiththethumbs)
Outstanding Member

@mad-murphy if only!   🤣  😆  🤣  😆 

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Posted : 06/02/2019 2:03 pm Mad Murphy liked
Griff Mom
(@griff-mom)
Outstanding Member

My feeling is that it's easier to train and work w/ dogs, than people every time!   We have tried hemp/CBD chews and a product called Ultra Calm from Foster & Smith when we have people over, or maintenance-type folks in the house.  It helps our Woody stay calmer and not on full-protective mode.  We still use physical separation as well, just to be safe because so many people just don't understand.

 

 

 

 

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Posted : 06/02/2019 9:41 pm TheOneWithTheThumbs and Mad Murphy liked
TheOneWithTheThumbs
(@theonewiththethumbs)
Outstanding Member

@griff-mom i agree to a point.  i have used calming treats - and crated the dogs - if it's a tree trimmer or cable guy.  But a grown-ass-man should know better! ESPECIALLY after he's been told.  Repeatedly.

Or did you mean slip my dad some calming treats in his macaroni salad?   🤣 

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Posted : 07/02/2019 9:25 am Griff Mom liked
Griff Mom
(@griff-mom)
Outstanding Member

@theonewiththethumbs  🤣 🤣 🤣   I like the way you think!  Calming treats for everyone!  Especially family!

Funny story:  There's something about Dad's and daughters and not listening.  When my Dad was alive and struggling w/ COPD, my sister talked to him about an article she read on breathing exercises (counting in and out).  My Dad was like:  yeah, yeah.  One day he got back from his PT appt. and said:  Hey, there's this great thing my PT worked with me on doing, counting in and out while breathing!  My sis and I just rolled our eyes and sighed.  

 

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Posted : 07/02/2019 10:00 am PharmacySheep, Mad Murphy and TheOneWithTheThumbs liked
TheOneWithTheThumbs
(@theonewiththethumbs)
Outstanding Member

@Griff-mom.  interrrrresting!  my dad has COPD and sleep apnea....   in his case he's probably just not getting enough oxygen to his brain.  He doesn't listen to anyone, i'm not special. lol

 

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Posted : 07/02/2019 10:22 am Mad Murphy liked
Mad Murphy
(@mad-murphy)
Amazing Member

Well the sleeve  has arrived and been attached to Murphys lead. I hope this will give OH a little peace of mind he sometimes lacks the social or verbal skills to tell people to back off..

I will be practising my drop dead look and my stop command as its half term next week so the streets will be full of children. I am always amazed that a two year old dog is suppose to have perfect control of all its emotions yet a 10 year old child (and older) can behave like a total idiot and get away with it?

 

 

625289992

The text means 'do not pet'

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Posted : 08/02/2019 1:55 am PharmacySheep and TheOneWithTheThumbs liked
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